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June 30 穷了啊!今天是六月的最后的一天,也是难忘的的一个月啊,哈哈,为了完成这一个也的任务,耗资聚多,这个月可以发500RMB就不错了,而且现在穷的还有50元(额外支出400),总的来说我是个负人拉.
同事也是因为外借加对自己好一点现在还有5RMB,两个穷人,这两天吃饭都靠其他同事多出点血啊.今天下雨也为了省RMB,我们就买点油饼和小菜凑合了一顿啊,尽管如此还是挺开心的,穷人嘛,哈哈.
我们期盼这7月5号啊,RMB也将有了,都计划好了如何花来,哈哈,现在是没有负担的时候就尽情照顾自己吧. June 29 分别!这次回去是为了经历一生一次最重要的分别,当我回到学校后看到学校里熟悉而忙碌的同学时,心里有说不出的高兴,每个人都是那么漂亮.
毕业酒会上,每个人都用酒来表达自己的感情,有的是感谢有的惬意有的是悲伤有的是迷茫----但大家的心情是类似,这是为我们准备的毕业酒会,没有几天我们就要离开这熟悉的校园熟悉的同学朋友,开始新的生活.因此,很多人喝的很多,也包括我自己,我感觉这次回来是值得的,可以再看看和我一起生活的朋友们.离别的气氛被哭泣声感染的更加强烈,社友们的哭声也感染了我,上次在火车上哭了一次,本以为这次哭不了,但那样的气氛对于即将分别的人来说,是无法掩饰的悲伤啊.
昨天我要离开她们离开学校,很想一个人静静的离开,但姐妹们执意要送,我只是害怕那么离别时的痛苦心情.很多即将离别的人,我们开始还可以开玩笑的到火车站,但是当我坐到火车里,看到外面的妹妹们,我控制不住的哭开了,这就是分别啊,让我很难受,不得不走的离别啊----看着她们红红的双眼,忍不住趴到窗口牵她们的小手说着道别的话,说着珍重!
亲爱的朋友们,我很感谢你们送我,我是走的比较早的,所以很幸运可以看到你们到最后,我希望大家都要走好,以后再次相聚,我希望我们在HOTEL一起看电视睡觉------,哈哈.
分别不代表我们彼此将忘记彼此,你们都在我心里,常联系啊! June 24 散火饭!不知从何时起开始"吃散伙饭",明天我就要参加人生中很重要的一次散伙饭了,此时的心情很复杂.
本打算不回去的,可同学们都很想念我,非常希望我回去,仔细想想这次也许是我最后一次见她们了,也是我人生中重要的一次经历.
明天也有可能是我最后一次去烟台了,我会用心记住烟台的一切生活,整整四年的点点滴滴-----
不管明天的毕业酒宴有没有意思,我都会记住的,我也即将结束我的大学生涯--- June 22 稳定!一直以来都以为只有女人缺少安全感,需要男人给女人稳定,我也是在寻找这种稳定,而今天早上我又说"能不能不要我的心这样漂泊,我需要稳定",而我听到的回答让我愣住了"你何时让我感到稳定过".
这是我第一次听到这样的要求,男人和女人一样都需要稳定啊!我感觉自己太自私了都是在寻找自己的感受而没有体会到其他人的感受.
我也不知以后的路该如何走,希望我一路走好! June 21 极端!23点了,无法从失望和悲痛中走出来,托着疲倦的身子走出宿舍来到办公室,打开电脑,在这期间我就有一个想法,现在就离开这里,给同事留个言以免他们找不到我着急.
坐下后看到小一在线,我激动的告诉她我要回去了,她们非常高兴,她们很想我,我也很想她们,就这样我查火车车次-----当给经理留言时我犹豫了,我这样走的后果是什么,他们会不理解我这样做的原因,他们凭什么会谅解我,因为我已经不是学生,没有谁可以象父母那样去理解我的任性和冲动.而我要离开的原因很复杂,我也不知自己到底是为了什么,自从上次回来我就越来越不开心,越来越压抑自己,我还要把感情问题扩大,现在也不会去理解别人而只是寻找自己的感受.想着想着,我突然觉得这样走太不值得也没有意义,有什么事情过不去的,最后我还是没有走,又静静的回到宿舍,哭了一会,太累了就睡了-----
我明白了一点,这也是我第一次克制了冲动的举动,我明白了自己应该对自己的行为负责,冲动会有惩罚的.
好好生活吧! June 20 昨晚又是一夜没有睡!本来是要关机让某个人着急,结果是我自己,我一夜没有睡觉因为联系不到他,我是个性子急的人,疯一般的打所有可以打的电话,一遍遍的----可终究没有联系上,我心里好害怕好担心,担心他会有什么事情,一想到这我就在半夜一个人痛苦的哭,没有人可以理解我当时的心情,没有人理解---
我当时我时间里煎熬着,知道天亮收到一条他的短信息.我才安心.
但是我说过,我不会原谅他,不会,我害怕那种感觉.
June 17 有些失望!我不知道自己为什么今天那么敏感由一件小事情引发我对人际关系的复杂而反感.
人与人之间最重要的是信任,其次是诚恳,我不知道自己是否让别人可信,但我一直都这样对待我周围的人,也很希望别人也这样对我.可实际情况不是这样,现在看来每个人的私心很重.我也不知改怎么说自己现在的感受.
我只希望生活在信任和真诚之间,我不喜欢不爽快的人.
June 01 lose my wing!how can i do for u ?i don't know,where i will stay ,i don't know.so many things can't be sure.
when i lose ,i only feel my heart is empty and empty.i don't know what to do and how to do.does the result is my need.i never want to go through the same experiece in my life.i am so sad now just like a bird losing her wing.
maybe time will tell me how to do. May 17 i hurt myself!i can't express my feelings now ,only be sense of being wronged.
i think it's myself hurt my heart and self-esteem,what a pity!
only want to forget the bad things,and keep the good mood facing tomorrow.
no one would know my true feelings now,how i wish my lover standing beside me.i only belive him. May 15 be couregous to say no!every body don't wish the others force you to do what you don't want to .if you are stronger in your principle,you could say "no" loudly.but for me ,my weak point is that i am easy to meet the others and don't wish the others not happy .i know ,after that i will be not happy,i will try to forget it.indeed,in my deep heart,i will not forget it.
now i feel i hurt myself sometimes,so i hope i will be couregous to say "no"if i can't or not want do .i must protest myself,no one could help you only yourself.
what's more ,the principle is very important in life,so insist your principle.or maybe life will be changed.
May 13 i am still not happy!yesterday,i was not happy without any reason.it meaned that i couldn't find the right word to explain.
yesterday,i suddenly feel i was very lonely,espesially,when he had to go home and she wanted to do some shopping with her bf.at that time,i didn't want to do anything,only feel i couldn't smile .i didn't know why i called him and told him i was not happy with the hope that he could visit me .yeah.he never visit me until i left jinan city ,insteand i came to zibo city for getting a good job.i had told him,but i was not happy,i felt i made a mistake that no need told him i felt lonely because he still lived alone .
i believe i will feel better after having good sleep.but now i am not still happy,and still feel lonely.how i want to ba protected by my lover.how i want him embrace me ,kiss me .how i want to be his kid lying beside him.
but now,that is a dream,we work in two cities without enough money to get together.i feel my heart ache and on.
when i think he can't marriage with me ,my heart will ache ache and ache.i can't believe that ,how i want him marriage with me,how i want to see him everyday,how i want he can cook my favorite food for me.
i don't want the others who will not belong to me like or love me,i only wish my him love absolutely me.
when he said he want to marriage with me ,i have no idea to say,as i can't accept marriage so fast.
now i don't what is my true feelings.
but the reality is that i can't have ability to have a good job,my knowlege is not enough.so i must study and study.i believe i will stand lonely .i will be happy.nothing i can't do ,only do something for myself.
with best hope for my future. May 09 Business men!we all know this idiom"the businessman will not do well business without treacherous".but now i want to say"businessman will do well and big business with sincerity".
when i have visited a small mountain village,there were many villagers complaining the businessmen who have deceived them .therefore all the villagers were not treat the stangers very friendly as before ,that stupid businessmen hurt their heart.so they lost the big markate as for small benifit.
but what happened made me change this idiom?
because during these days i have followed my manager doing business,they know each other very well ,and do business with sincerity.both of them have deep feelings .
that is my belief whether you do anything ,it is important to have positive attitude and be sincrely to the others. May 07 who will be trusted!i don't know in the word who will be the best person you trust him absolutely.
now i want to see no body including yourself.it means that in the word ,there is full of change,so much change what you can't thought.therefore we must ba ready to change in time ,whether you like or not ,or you will be changed by others not by yourself.in my view,i think that it is benefit if you change yourself actively.choose what you want to change,and after change will make your life better than now.
here all i want to say,be courageous to change with positive attitude ,life will be better.
so you haven't to trust anyone only fellow your nose.
thank you for your visiting my space,if you have the other thought ,please don't hesitate to discuss here.i am an open girl who want to express my idea very freely.
April 28 分手了别忘了爱情!转发: 我是看了身边一位女友离婚后,她与前夫和平共处想到这句话的:分手了别忘了留下爱情。 婚姻是平凡与琐碎的,之前被爱情迷昏了头,婚说结就结了。有人说婚姻本身是需要冲动的,如果这个说法成立,那么结婚后,难免有些婚姻会走到末路。一个向东,一个向西时,是优雅的说声再见,还是打上一架老死不相往来。 有些人选择的是不相往来,所谓的爱之深,恨之切。理性的分析一下,这种爱未免又是自私的,假若婚姻已经给不了对方幸福,为什么不放对方一码呢?那个人并不会因为结婚而成为谁的私有财产。离开就离开了。假如有伤害,也是双方的,不管是谁先提出来的。彼此都是有伤痛的。为什么要在伤痛上撒一把盐呢? 姜文的法国妻子桑德林说:真正的爱情没有什么可以破坏。他认为与姜文的爱永远存在,与是否在一起生活无关。说这话时姜文已经与另外一个人生活并育有小孩。这应该是怎样一种爱,试想过很多次,想参透其中奥妙。 梅婷与鄢颇离婚了,可他们最近要合作《我们结婚吧》,有些人认为他们把离婚当成炒作,这个我不认同。哪个人不想给自己留些私人的独享空间呢,拿自己的幸福炒作,还不至于吧。 幸福的婚姻大致是相同的,不幸福的婚姻各有各的不同。没谁真正能了到别人的生活内部。或许就有许多不想对外人讲的因素。 进了婚姻,被各种世俗所牵拌,朝夕相处,就如同天天面对一种食物那样,很爱吃的那一种,终于有一天吃腻了。有些人腻了,可以换点清淡的东西。婚姻里如果腻了,可能会吵个小架,分开一小段,换个生活方式,外面走走玩玩,找找激情,之后一切就恢复正常了。可有些人的婚姻,就没那么简单,他对于婚姻这盘菜已经吃到要吐了,或者是觉得吸取不到营养了。那么离开这盘菜,或许最好。 有些人其实并没结婚,但一起生活了很久,再没有结婚冲动之前就分手了。那么形同陌路一样也可能是种悲伤。可以不见,可以不相往来。但有一点,那个人在你心中一定不要成为敌人。充满感激也许不一定,但总需友好,在哪天如果不期而遇,你是不是有勇气发自内心送去一个会心的微笑?桑德林说他还爱着姜文,我是相信的。那种爱只是换了方式。她是认为此生再也遇不到比他更好的人了,一场爱,用掉了一生所有情感的积蓄,倾尽了所有激情。很多个时候,他就会涌入心间。那一刻,有温馨,有甜蜜。是其它人无论如何也给不了的东西。而他们,无论如何再也难以走近,这个总是成立。分开了,忘记了他所有的不好,所有的伤害,能记起的只是甜蜜,这甜蜜,足够一生回味。这样的爱又有谁说不是在延续呢。 刘晓庆当年遇到麻烦,暂且不说她做错了什么,只说在刘危难之际姜文低调站出来为刘晓庆花重金请聘请律师这件事,想必是爱过的,想必姜文也是个重情义的男子。 有时分开了,爱还是存在的。只是换了种形式。桑德林认为对姜文的爱永远存在,与是否在一起生活无关。我还是愿意相信。都是重情义的人,也许两国的文化本身就是差异,但不表明桑德林不可以去倾慕姜文去爱姜文。 不爱了,可以流泪,可以分手,但不可以没有情份。有的时候,不说明星,普通人也一样,分手了,但又说他们之间还是朋友。朋友的距离反而让彼此轻松,缘份就那么点吧?为什么要有怨尤,为什么要恨?为什么向对待敌人一样? 还记得有位诗人说:把你的影子晾起来,风干,腌起来,老的时候,下酒。你不认为,留下些东西,老来佐餐,很是妙不可言吗? April 20 我只想哭会!今天我的心情很不好,不想和别人说话,只想哭一会---
其实哭真的可以缓解情绪,我也不知自己为什么今天想哭会而那么难呢.
我现在想什么都没有用,以前把我的爱情放在第一位,而现在我都没有心情去考虑自己的爱情了,还有它更重要的事情,就是我可以承担的责任.
有时候感觉自己怎样才可让我的家人过上幸福的生活呢,我只感觉有心无力的,家人为我付出那么多而现在他们最需要我的时候我确什么也做不了,真的很无奈,有时候感觉自己真的好没有用呀!
每次有消极的想法我就有种不甘于此的念头,就会把观念转变 ,我心里清楚这是命运中要求的改变,不管我愿不愿意最后经历的事情会让我改变.
也不知道写的什么,只希望自己可以痛快的哭出来,可到现在还没有想要的那种哭,今天可能就没有希望了.
我什么都不想多想了,什么也做不了,哭都难,今天就到此吧,我也该睡觉了.
明天,我知道我会把今天忘了. today ,i am in bad mood!today,i am in a bad mood.don't want to do anything ,chat with anyone,only want to cry .
i don't know how to do .i only want to cry a little on my lover's shoulder .
April 19 我什么时候可以做自己想做的事情呢?今天给家人打电话,老妈又说让我听她的话回去参加考试,找个好的事业单位,这样可以稳定,不用在外面漂泊----
我该怎么办呢?好不容易可以的到现在的工作,好不容易碰到那么好的经理和同事,而妈妈的要求让我无法全心的去追求自己的生活,我好不甘心呀.
我回去后再想出来就很难了,生活节奏和理念都会比其他人慢或落后,现在唯一可以救我的就是自己有所作为,而我现在是最艰难的时期呀,妈妈那么需要我回去,我本想着只要自己把经济问题解决了就好办了,我需要的是时间,可现在妈妈这样要求我做我不愿做的事情,我已经失去了够多了,为什么命运就如此不堪,一点让我喘息的机会也不给,我很不甘心,为什么每次都让我那么难做决定.一边是需要我去照顾的父母,一边是我自己的追求,满足了父母的要求我会很不快乐的过一生,违背他们的意愿我就是不孝就是太自私.
我真的很想埋怨命运的不公啊,已经让我们经历那么多的坎坷还不放过我们,不放过我,若我死了可以得到家人的安宁,我真的愿意去死.可谁又能告诉呢.
长远来看,不回去是最明智的,我不想就那么平平淡淡的过一辈子,没有理想没有追求,我想我一定可以想办法解决的,我还有时间.
我不能没有自由啊! April 15 i am luckly!i am luck to meet my friends there,so i feel happy.
i now get a job introduced by my old friend Mr xu who is a person that is helpful,considerated,kindly.i am appreciated with him and wish one day i could help him,he remind me of "what is friend for".
through MR xu,i have made many friends such as my manage franco,Ashlay lee,steven.they are very kindly and friendly.let me discrible hem one by one.
our manage ,franco is a person who is sincerely,full-love,helpful,consideration,smart and so on.i never have met a man like him.he love his family very much.what's more,he is very considerate with his wife and daugter.i am admired them and hope will build this family which will be full of love an respersibility.
my workmate ashlay is a good girl who is very frankly , lovely,beaytiful,sincerely and kindly.i love her voice which is very meaningful with her hometown voice.i like her smiling face.she is also very younger .i hope she will find herself and find her happiness.
another workmate is steven who is more happiness,because he will marry with a girl who he fall love with.and his wife is very beautiful and mature.he is also considerated and kindly.
they are my good friends who play an important role in my life.i will never forget them.i feel i am so luck to make friends with them.therefore i will learn from them,do well on my job.i hope we get together very well.
with my best regarding to them. April 13 what should i do?during staying in school,every couple plays feelings in an important role,including myself.but when i work in the society,i find there are many other things changeing your mind slowly.feelings is not the first thing to be concern,of course ,feelings ia also important for me.now i know my job is the first thing i should do well.
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